Where do you want to invest your time?
All relationships, both personal and business, require on-going communication. Without on-going communication, business relationships break down because of lack of contact. This lack of contact opens the door to communication with business competitors and the potential for loss of clients and business.
The same is true for personal relationships. Lack of communication and contact also leads to the breakdown of the relationship. Withdrawal during times of stress can be common but, prolonged withdrawal is damaging and hurtful. Open and honest communication allows for the sharing of thoughts and ideas that can be conveyed in no other way. Shutting your mate out through non-communication begins to break down the emotional bonds that connect you. If this is allowed to go on long enough, the emotional bonds can be severed completely. Once this happens, one of two things will happen. Either the relationship ends, or it will take an extraordinary effort to reconnect emotionally. From experience, both personally and professionally, it takes much more effort to rebuild a relationship than it does to maintain it through regular and open communication.
Where do you want to invest your time...continually developing new relationships or maintaining and nurturing your existing relationship?
Monday, August 25, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
Do you want a great relationship or an STD?
Where should you draw the line of promoting sex outside of marriage? Do you believe in the 3 or 5 date rule? (This is the rule that says you have to have 3,5 or whatever your number is dates before you sleep with someone.) Do you wait until you are in a committed relationship? Or, do you wait until marriage? I bring these questions up because of a recent request for help by a female writer for a major men's health magazine. The quote below is her request.
"looking for relationship/intimacy experts who can talk about sexy, not
creepy, things you can say to "get her naked right now" ("right
now" is open for interpretation)."
I'm not sure why this surprised me so much. Maybe it was because the request came from a woman. Maybe it was because of the brashness of her request. Maybe it's because my values have changed over the years as I have matured.
Over the past 50 years it has become so easy just to jump into bed with someone you hardly know. I'm not saying that people didn't do this sort of thing before the 1960's but it wasn't an acceptable practice back then. As the cultural revolution of the '60's and '70's progressed, traditional family values were pushed by the wayside and they continue to be left farther and farther behind us everyday.
Where do we draw the line? As a practicing Christian, I know that I am supposed to wait until marriage for physical intimacy. As an author, speaker and dating coach I know that introducing sex too early in a relationship inhibits our ability to connect with our partner intellectually, spiritually and emotionally...and that is scientific fact. As a man, I know the physical urges and desires we have and they can be overwhelming, making even the strongest among us give in to temptation. If we give in to physical desires too frequently with too many partners, we open ourselves up to gifts that keep on giving...STD's.
Ultimately, the decision belongs to each one of us. The longer we keep our clothes on, the more likely we are to develop a stronger, healthier relationship. And, if it is not the right relationship, you will not have given your physical self away for momentary pleasure.
Where should you draw the line of promoting sex outside of marriage? Do you believe in the 3 or 5 date rule? (This is the rule that says you have to have 3,5 or whatever your number is dates before you sleep with someone.) Do you wait until you are in a committed relationship? Or, do you wait until marriage? I bring these questions up because of a recent request for help by a female writer for a major men's health magazine. The quote below is her request.
"looking for relationship/intimacy experts who can talk about sexy, not
creepy, things you can say to "get her naked right now" ("right
now" is open for interpretation)."
I'm not sure why this surprised me so much. Maybe it was because the request came from a woman. Maybe it was because of the brashness of her request. Maybe it's because my values have changed over the years as I have matured.
Over the past 50 years it has become so easy just to jump into bed with someone you hardly know. I'm not saying that people didn't do this sort of thing before the 1960's but it wasn't an acceptable practice back then. As the cultural revolution of the '60's and '70's progressed, traditional family values were pushed by the wayside and they continue to be left farther and farther behind us everyday.
Where do we draw the line? As a practicing Christian, I know that I am supposed to wait until marriage for physical intimacy. As an author, speaker and dating coach I know that introducing sex too early in a relationship inhibits our ability to connect with our partner intellectually, spiritually and emotionally...and that is scientific fact. As a man, I know the physical urges and desires we have and they can be overwhelming, making even the strongest among us give in to temptation. If we give in to physical desires too frequently with too many partners, we open ourselves up to gifts that keep on giving...STD's.
Ultimately, the decision belongs to each one of us. The longer we keep our clothes on, the more likely we are to develop a stronger, healthier relationship. And, if it is not the right relationship, you will not have given your physical self away for momentary pleasure.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Do you struggle with believing that there is a perfect mate for you?
Do you struggle with this concept because no one is perfect? Or, how about "I don't deserve an extraordinary mate?" Maybe your friends tell you that you are too picky and you believe them! Or maybe you don't believe in soul mates and that relationships have to be hard work. Any one of these thoughts (and many more) can kee...p you from waiting, being patient and finding your soul mate.
Do you believe in God or some form of a higher power? Do you believe He wants what is best for you? Do you think He might have a soul mate in mind for you? If you do, then why would you second guess Him and not wait for the right person in your life? Why do you want to waste your time in a relationship that is not extraordinary in hopes that it someday will be?
Ponder these questions as you think about what your extraordinary relationship should look like.
Do you struggle with this concept because no one is perfect? Or, how about "I don't deserve an extraordinary mate?" Maybe your friends tell you that you are too picky and you believe them! Or maybe you don't believe in soul mates and that relationships have to be hard work. Any one of these thoughts (and many more) can kee...p you from waiting, being patient and finding your soul mate.
Do you believe in God or some form of a higher power? Do you believe He wants what is best for you? Do you think He might have a soul mate in mind for you? If you do, then why would you second guess Him and not wait for the right person in your life? Why do you want to waste your time in a relationship that is not extraordinary in hopes that it someday will be?
Ponder these questions as you think about what your extraordinary relationship should look like.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
I recently recorded a podcast interview for JenningsWire.com, a national publicity firm. In the interview I discusses some key components to effective dating and great relationships. Click on the link to see their blog post and hear the entire interview.
http://www.jenningswire.com/
http://www.jenningswire.com/
Monday, August 4, 2014
Are you a cheerleader, an enabler or a dream killer?
The cheerleader is the person in your corner cheering you on, encouraging you and holding you accountable when necessary. These are the people that want to see you succeed and exceed even your own wildest expectations.
The enabler is the person that is in your corner, cheers you on but doesn't hold you accountable. They are the people that will tell you it's okay when you make excuses for not following through on a promise or commitment.
The dream killer is neither in your corner nor encouraging. In fact they will probably bet against you given the chance. These are the people that will tell you that you aren't good enough, you can't do what you set out to do. They generally have a very negative outlook on life.
Surround yourself with cheerleaders. Keep the enablers and dream killers at an arms distance from you or better yet get them out of your life if possible. While enablers and dream killers may seem to have good intentions, relationships with them are generally toxic and destructive to you.
Now, look at yourself. Which one are you...a cheerleader, an enabler or a dream killer?
The cheerleader is the person in your corner cheering you on, encouraging you and holding you accountable when necessary. These are the people that want to see you succeed and exceed even your own wildest expectations.
The enabler is the person that is in your corner, cheers you on but doesn't hold you accountable. They are the people that will tell you it's okay when you make excuses for not following through on a promise or commitment.
The dream killer is neither in your corner nor encouraging. In fact they will probably bet against you given the chance. These are the people that will tell you that you aren't good enough, you can't do what you set out to do. They generally have a very negative outlook on life.
Surround yourself with cheerleaders. Keep the enablers and dream killers at an arms distance from you or better yet get them out of your life if possible. While enablers and dream killers may seem to have good intentions, relationships with them are generally toxic and destructive to you.
Now, look at yourself. Which one are you...a cheerleader, an enabler or a dream killer?
I believe that we all can be a cheerleader, an enabler or dream killer at different times in our lives depending on the situation. Ideally we will be the cheerleader most of the time, but certain situations may require a different approach to dealing with family, friends and acquaintances. You may need to be a dream killer if you can plainly see that the behavior of someone you are about is destructive and dangerous.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)