How well do you know your significant other?

If you have been with someone for any amount of time, one would think they had a pretty good knowledge of each other.  This may not necessarily be the case.  Oh sure, you may know his favorite TV show or you may know her favorite color.  You may even know some things like favorite time of the year, their best friend from grade school or what's on their bucket list.  Often times the things we know are mostly superficial.

Have you ever tried to have a really deep meaningful conversation?  I'm talking about a conversation that gets to the core of who you and your significant other really are.  What are your/their core values?  What are your/their life goals?  What are you/they passionate about?  What are your/their greatest fears?  These are just a few questions that can create a deeper understanding of who you and your mate really are.

These are questions that are very powerful and can leave one feeling very vulnerable.  They can also be very eye-opening and liberating.  If you have never given any thought to these and other powerful thought provoking questions, maybe it's time you tried.  Open yourself up to the vulnerability of being truthful with yourself and you mate.

Tough questions have the power to hurt if you are not careful.  Information shared must be in a safe environment.  You and your significant other must be careful not to use the information to attack, abuse, tease or otherwise hurt your mate in any way.  Remember, your mate must feel safe to share information with you and know that it is not going to be used against them later or shared with anyone else without permission.

The more you know and understand about your mate, the deeper your connection and communication can be.  A conversation that asks the tough questions has the potential to take a relationship from good to great or from great to extraordinary.   Learn to move past superficial.  Learn about your mate and help them understand you better.  Ask questions and develop a deeper more meaningful relationship.

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I came across a great article about being single and wanted to share with you all.  I hope you enjoy.

So why are you single? - Sophie Personne bit.ly

Are you willing to do what it takes to keep an extraordinary relationship extraordinary?

New relationships are always exciting.  They often bring spontaneity, surprises and plenty of attention to each other.  What happens when the new wears off?  What happens to your love when you start falling into a daily routine?

This is where the real work of a relationship begins.  In the beginning, we all try to put our best foot forward and make the extra effort to be fun and exciting.  When we slip into the daily routine of life, most of us gradually stop putting in the extra effort because we no longer feel the need to impress our mate.  Usually, you are both to tired from your long days at work.  It is easier to grab some take out food or throw a pizza in the oven than it is to spend time cooking together.  It is easier to go home, crash on the couch and watch a movie than it is to go out for an evening of dancing.

The Law of Motion or Inertia not only apply to objects, but relationships as well.  When you let your world overwhelm you with tasks, chores, stress, etc., you start to lose focus on the one you love.  As your focus changes, your relationship changes.  It becomes stale and stagnates and you start to take each other for granted.  Once you get to this point, your relationship is in jeopardy of stalling and failing.

To keep your relationship moving forward you need to provide some effort.  That effort will not need to be as much as it took to get your relationship going.  In most cases, it will be the simple things; a note, a phone call, a date night, a spontaneous drive into the country to look at the stars...  It doesn't need to be a continuous full-on effort, just a little effort from both of you.

What do you do to keep your relationship extraordinary?  Share your ideas with us.

Are you able to take a truly introspective look at your life?

Most of us can identify our strengths , but are you able to identify your weaknesses?  This is something that is very difficult for most of us to do including me.  Over the past 25 years I have been blessed with people that have come into my life and have stepped up to the roll of mentor.

A mentor or a coach will help you look at your personal life or your business life and help you see things from a different perspective.  While your mentor should only have your best interest at heart, some of the conversations can be brutally painful and eye opening.  Very few of us want to think that we could be doing something wrong or be moving in the wrong direction with our life.  Even fewer of us are willing to deal with emotional or intellectual distress of admitting we could be wrong and to seriously look at making necessary changes in our life.  We all want to think that we have life (or business) figured out and everything is good.  I am guilty of thinking this way.

Learn to recognize the potential mentors in your life.  All to often, we push these people away from us because we don't want to deal with certain realities in life.  Yet, these are the very people we need to help us focus on correcting the weaknesses that are holding us back.  Having the maturity to seek improvement in life is a huge advantage in being able to achieve your goals whether it is in business or personal life. 

Learn not to push your potential mentors/coaches away.  Listen and learn from their experience.  They have already learned what you need to know.

How do you see Love?

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Here are two images, one appears loving and romantic and the other appears to be a serious and maybe even heated discussion.  How do you see a loving relationship?  Do you see it as always romantic with tender moments, always joyful and not a care in the world?  Do you see love as too much work, arguments and to little romance?  Or, do you see it as something in between?

In the early stages of a romantic relationship we are usually going to be overcome with infatuation.  Infatuation is what gives us butterflies in the stomach as you are about to reunite with your lover.  It is that weak in the knees feeling.  It is that tingle you get when you see your lover across the room.  But, what happens when the infatuation wears off?

After infatuation, you start to see and experience the real person you are with...the good, the bad and the morning breath.  You are starting to deal with the day-to-day aspects of a relationship.  If you are with your extraordinary love, your soul mate, you will learn to come together as a team and work through all the daily issues.  Your love for each other will help build each other up, not tear each other down.  Life will throw road blocks in your way.  As emotionally mature lovers, you should be able to work your way through any issues with good, open and honest conversation.

A question that I am sometimes asked is "How do you get to the point where you can have open and honest conversations?"  My answer is; "One step at a time."  From very early on in your relationship you need to be brave and courageous.  If you have rarely (if ever) had really deep, honest conversations with anyone, this will be a growing and learning process.  Rarely have I found dealing with problems and having tough conversations to be easy or comfortable.  However, what I have found is that the more I have these types of conversations the more I find that my anxiety or stress is reduced.  It doesn't completely go away...it's just not as strong.

In the end, when you are with your extraordinary love, working through issues will be much easier than you have experienced in the past.  Some things that were issues in the past may no longer be issues.  Why?  Just because!  They become less important because just being with your soul mate is what brings you joy!  When you are with this person, it is an incredible feeling of love.  It is a feeling that never goes away; it is unconditional.  How do you describe that kind of love?  I can't.  Anyone that has experienced this kind of love, even for a short period of time, understands that it is a feeling that transcends words. 

Extraordinary love will resemble both pictures above.  When you find this love, you will know it.  You will not question it; it will just be there residing inside you and your lover.