I had a request this morning to write about moving on after you have lost the "one". How DO you get past the loss of an extraordinary relationship?
There is a grieving process that we all go through. I have linked to an article below that explains the basic process quite well. It is written focusing primarily on death and disease, but the process also applies to the ending of a special or extraordinary relationship.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617
As this article states, the grieving process is different for everyone and the time it takes to grieve will also vary from person to person. One of the things I have learned over the years is that becoming social again is an important part of moving forward. When you have lost an extraordinary relationship, it is very difficult to move on. However, it is important to get out and be with people but not necessarily to date right away.
It makes us feel better when we are doing things for other people so becoming active in a charity might be a great help. Getting active at church may be a big help. Joining a singles group of some other group that focuses on a hobby you enjoy is a great way to socialize.
Shortly after the end of a relationship it is also easy to fall back into a relationship with an ex lover or even an ex spouse. As a friend so adeptly put it, "It is always easier to step back than it is to step forward." Falling back into the arms of an old lover is always easier than working on finding a new and extraordinary love. It doesn't take any work to move backward. It does, however, take effort to move forward. This is probably the hardest part of healing. We all want it to be easy and get past the hurt. Life doesn't work that way. It takes effort, and the more effort you put in to moving forward, the sooner you will find yourself with better emotional health. It isn't until you are emotionally healthy again that you have the possibility of being an extraordinary mate for someone else.
There is a grieving process that we all go through. I have linked to an article below that explains the basic process quite well. It is written focusing primarily on death and disease, but the process also applies to the ending of a special or extraordinary relationship.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617
As this article states, the grieving process is different for everyone and the time it takes to grieve will also vary from person to person. One of the things I have learned over the years is that becoming social again is an important part of moving forward. When you have lost an extraordinary relationship, it is very difficult to move on. However, it is important to get out and be with people but not necessarily to date right away.
It makes us feel better when we are doing things for other people so becoming active in a charity might be a great help. Getting active at church may be a big help. Joining a singles group of some other group that focuses on a hobby you enjoy is a great way to socialize.
Shortly after the end of a relationship it is also easy to fall back into a relationship with an ex lover or even an ex spouse. As a friend so adeptly put it, "It is always easier to step back than it is to step forward." Falling back into the arms of an old lover is always easier than working on finding a new and extraordinary love. It doesn't take any work to move backward. It does, however, take effort to move forward. This is probably the hardest part of healing. We all want it to be easy and get past the hurt. Life doesn't work that way. It takes effort, and the more effort you put in to moving forward, the sooner you will find yourself with better emotional health. It isn't until you are emotionally healthy again that you have the possibility of being an extraordinary mate for someone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment