Are you #dating in world of #abundance or #scarcity?
This question can apply to a variety of aspects of relationships. For example, do you look around and see only poor quality potential dates or do you find an abundance of good people to date? Are you searching for someone in a city that is notorious as being a terrible place to date such as Kansas City or do you look at your surroundings and find plenty of potential dating candidates? Do you subscribe to the societal belief that you cannot have everything you want in a relationship? Or, do you diligently search for that special someone that possesses everything on your Must Have list, knowing full well that he/she is out there waiting to be found?
I use Kansas City as an example above because I live in the metro area and it made someone's list of Ten Worst Cities for Dating. Just because someone has a negative opinion of the dating possibilities in the KC area, does that mean it's correct? Do you just accept that information on face value or do you take a look at what you actually see and experience? Doing some very basic research, there appears to be in excess of 500,000 singles age 35 to 70 in the KC metro area. Do you mean to tell me that there are no quality men and women worthy of dating here?
I see great dating candidates every week in my workshops...men and women. Each gender has the same complaint; "Society has changed and there are no more good men/women available." It's so much easier to believe that we can't be successful! When it comes to making excuses, we have unlimited creativity. What if you channeled your creativity into finding your mate instead of reasons why you can't?
Most of the problems people run into are based on their own thinking. You attract what you think. As Henry Ford once said; "If you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!" You will attract what you think most about. If you approach dating from a negative point of view, focusing on what you don't want, you will attract exactly that. When you focus on what you do want, that is ultimately what you will find.
Create your own possibilities. Don't let limiting beliefs get in your way. If you are struggling in your dating life, I can help. Send me an e-mail at
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Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He has become and astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit through his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions.
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