No more one more one last time!
You cannot move forward if you continue to move backward. Once you break up with someone, it should be over. Even if it wasn't a toxic relationship, it ended for a reason. Odds are that reason hasn't changed.
Statistics show that the loneliness and low self esteem after a breakup will cause couples to reunite for temporary relief through reconciliation. They also show that this will happen an average of seven times before the relationship is finally over! Does this sound crazy or what? The sad fact is that we all have done this at one time or another. Maybe we haven't gone back seven times; maybe it was four times or maybe 10 times.
The simple fact is, that when a relationship is over, don't go back. Each time you do, you reignite some of your feelings for the other person. Then, when you break up again, you have to start the healing process all over again. And, you start the loneliness and self esteem issues all over again. Very simply, it is so much easier in the long run to break up once than to do it multiple times. It saves so much time and energy!
One of the best ways to move on is to start dating other people. Depending on your previous relationship, you may not be emotionally ready for another relationship, but it never hurts to get out and start dating casually again. When you start dating other people, you will naturally reduce the loneliness of not being in a relationship. It will also help build your self-confidence that you are worthy of finding and dating someone that is a better fit for you.
Make sure that when you start to date again that you don't dwell on your ex. This might make you feel better to have someone to talk to about it and get it off your chest but, it will be pure hell for your date! No one wants to spend there date time listening to all the problems you and your ex had. As you start to date, make sure you focus on having fun. Even if the date is a one time event, enjoy it, learn something new about someone else and about yourself. Make dating an adventure and enjoy the journey. If done right, you will eventually find your extraordinary love!
If you have questions about dating, feel free to drop me a line at rick@luv4alifetime.com.
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Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He has become and astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit through his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions.
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