One of the most difficult things in life for many (if not most) of us is to say "I'm sorry"! It generally means that you did or said something wrong and that you hurt someone. No one wants to be wrong, and when we are, we generally don't want to admit it. We think it makes us look foolish, lose respect from others or makes us look weak. Then there is the pain of humiliation and we all know how much fun that is!
One of the great truths of life is that saying "I'm sorry" with genuine humility is one of the greatest attributes you can develop. Being able to swallow your pride for a very short period of time and taking true responsibility for your actions is a virtue. Instead of looking foolish, being disrespected and weak, apologizing (sincerely) usually has the opposite effect. People around you will usually have more respect for you and see that as a sign of strength of character.
In a relationship, we often will gloss over our mistakes and hope that our lover will too. We may even gloss over the mistakes of our lover. However, avoiding taking responsibility for our actions starts to take its toll on a relationship. Over time, glossing over or ignoring situations can have an ever deepening negative impact on your relationship until one day, there is no more forgiveness. Once you reach this point, there may be no trust and no respect left in the relationship.
Learning to say "I'm sorry" and meaning it is not easy. Many times it means swallowing your pride and being humbled. It means having to open yourself up to being vulnerable and this is never easy, especially for men.
If you are wrong, consider the impact of an apology. Even if you were right, sometimes it is best to say "I'm sorry. I was wrong in the way I handled the situation." When you develop the courage to take responsibility for a situation, not only will you gain respect from you mate or others around you, you will develop a much sought after character trait. Be brave! Learn to take responsibility for your actions and learn to say "I'm sorry".
If you or someone you know has questions about dating, please send them to me at rick@luv4alifetime.com.
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For information on workshops, events and coaching go to luv4alifetime.com/seminars.html.
About the author.
Over the past 30 years, Rick Soetebier has been a student of self and relationship improvement. He is an astute observer of people and relationship issues. Over time and through a relationship and marriage that ended after 25 years, Rick started to develop some of the fundamental principles that are found in his book, Dating Backward: A practical guide to dating and finding your soul mate. You can benefit from his observations, education, research and personal experience by letting him help you make better relationship decisions. Date consciously and settle for nothing less than extraordinary in your next relationship.
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