Happy New Year everyone!  Please be safe tonight and we'll meet back here next year!

Do you have a sense of humor?

The question was asked "If women are really interested in meeting a guy who will make them laugh, then why don't they spend their time at comedy clubs and date a stand up comic? Most guys are not good comics."

Actually this is a very good question!  Several years ago I was frustrated by the same question.  It is not uncommon to see women seeking someone that can make them laugh.  I had met someone on line and during our conversation she was literally keeping count of the times that I made her laugh.  Talk about pressure to perform!  I failed miserably in her eyes and that was our first and last conversation.  When I thought about the conversation later, it had nothing to do with whether I was funny or whether she was too critical.  It had everything to do with the fact that we each have a different sense of humor.  What is funny to me may not be to the next person and vise verse.  For example, after more than 50 years, I still find Bugs Bunny and Road Runner funny cartoons.  On the other hand, I have never found humor in Sponge Bob or The Simpsons yet millions of people enjoy these cartoons daily.

When a woman (or a man for that matter) is looking for someone to make her laugh, she is actually looking for someone that has a similar sense of humor.  It is easy to laugh with someone that shares what you think is funny and it is easy for them to laugh with you.  You don't need to be a comedian.  You don't even need to put a lot of effort into being funny.  Just be you.  If the two of you have a common sense of humor she will find that a lot of what you say is amusing and she will laugh...maybe even a lot!

Please post your questions here or for a personal question or consultation, send your request to rick@luv4alifetime.com.

A Time to Reflect

As we come into the final weeks of 2014, it's a great time to reflect on the past year.  What are we thankful for?  What have been our joys?  What have been our sorrows?  What have we learned?  What did we do right?  What can we improve on next year?  Have you made relationship decisions this year that you are happy with?  Have you learned to be a better communicator this year?

These are but a few of the questions we can ask ourselves as we look back on the year and look forward to a new year.  This is an important process for each of us to go through.  I recently spent a day with a group of people doing this very thing.  When properly facilitated, the process of reviewing the past year and looking forward to the new year and beyond is a helpful way to stay focused or refocus on what is actually important to each of us.  During any given year, we can fall prey to life events, daily routine, neglect or any number of other distractions that cause us to lose focus on what is truly important to us.

My biggest take-away from spending a day reviewing and planning was a re-affirmation of my business and personal relationship goals along with a refinement of some current business strategies.

It often doesn't take much to get back on track to focus on our goals.  Sometimes it is a simple conversation.  Other times it is having someone to be accountable to.  This is someone that will help you define what's important and what is not.  If you need a review by having a simple conversation or if you need professional coaching to help you define or refine your relationship goals consider a coaching relationship with me.  Contact me for help reviewing your on-line dating profile, developing your "Must Have" list, helping you think through dating and relationship questions or other relationship related concerns.

What are some of your relationship questions or concerns?  Post your questions here or contact me at rick@luv4alifetime.com.

What Americans Really Think About Relationships, Cohabitation and Marriage

Here is a link to a great article from the Daily Signal I read recently.  It is an interesting look at our attitudes towards relationships, living together and marriage.  It then looks at what studies tell us about relationships, living together and marriage.  Our perception and reality appear to be at odds with each other.  This article reinforces some of the concepts I teach, the importance of in-tact families and the value of waiting for marriage to be physically intimate.

http://dailysignal.com/2014/12/15/americans-really-think-relationships-cohabitation-marriage/?utm_source=facebook

Check out my web site for up coming seminars.  Go to http://luv4alifetime.com

Are you following the path that God has laid out for you?

This question applies to business, relationships, family, friends...virtually every aspect of our lives.  I am always in awe when God opens (or closes) a door at the very moment I need guidance.  The important thing is to be observant and recognize what opportunities are being presented and which ones are being taken away.

I have been blessed with having people come into my life at different times for different reasons.  Some have come and gone, some are still with me and probably will be for life.  I also recognize that there are still others that have yet to make an appearance.  At times these relationships have challenged me to re-evaluate who I am and what I am doing.  Like any human being, I will often resist hearing the truth in their message.  However, when I take time to reflect and absorb what I'm being told, I often come away with a new insight and understanding of me and a greater appreciation for those that have challenged me.

I believe God gives all of us a passion for something.  What is your passion?  What is it that you truly love to do?  We all have to discover that passion and then work at developing and sharing our passion with others.  This is part of the path that God has laid out for us.  Ignoring our passion will bring strife, anxiety and regret.  I have discovered that I love to help others.  For 21 years I spent my time helping people make better financial decisions.  Now, my passion to help people has lead me in a different direction and that his to help single people make better decisions about the people they date and the relationships they enter into.  Maybe your passion is being a stay-at-home mom, a photographer, a baker, a rancher, a truck driver, a used car salesman, etc.  Whatever your passion, work at being the best that you can be at what you do! 

Not everyone is destined for fame or fortune and that's okay.  I believe that God wants us to focus on the passion He has given us.  We cheat Him, the world around us and most importantly ourselves when we ignore or worse yet, don't take time to discover and nurture our passion.  Don't be embarrassed, intimidated or inhibited because of your passion.  Share it with the world.  I believe that this is the way He intends to impact the world around us. 

How did I get here?

That is a question we all ask ourselves from time to time.  As we travel through life we come upon various events that cause us to pause and reflect on our life's journey...or at least we should.  These events can be positive or negative.  Either way, they should make us look at who we have become and how we have gotten here.

For me, this has been a journey of at least 25 years.  That is when I bought my first self-help cassette tape series.  It was a program designed to help me create a positive attitude and improve my sales skills.  I listened faithfully for months.  I did gain a much more positive attitude but sales skills didn't improve that much.

As time went on, I acquired more and more self-help books, tapes and CDs.  Books like The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Awaken the Giant Within and In Search of Excellence were just the beginning.  I started to read more and more...business books, personal improvement books.  I purchased Anthony Robbins CD programs and listened for hours on end.  All of the information I was consuming was great, but there was something missing.  I was missing self confidence!

For years I lived with the fear that people would not like me if they knew who I "really" was.  I couldn't possibly live up to the facade I had created.  Then, one day I was having a very frank conversation with a close friend.  He made some comments about how he viewed me and our relationship.  It opened my eyes to how others actually did see me.  At age 52, I was no longer the little boy or young man in search of acceptance.  I was an adult that could be and was now respected for who I was.  All the years of listening to and reading self-help material all seemed to come together in one moment with the words of a dear friend.  This was the first major turning point in my life.

There have been several other important personal revelations in my life since then, but that was the first and the most important.  The realization that I was not inferior, was not stupid, was not an idiot, was the door that opened a new world of self-confidence to me.  Since that time, I have come to learn that few of us have grown up in healthy households.  Yet, many of us have overcome these issues and live happy lives.  What have you overcome?  How did you get here?  Share your stories with us.